Umm…where have I been?

While neglecting this digital space, I:

  • Finished grad school
  • Visited Italy, India, and Canada
  • Traveled all over the US, ranging from Seattle to Washington D.C.
  • Solidified bonds between new friends and long-time friends
  • Found out my grandma has cancer
  • Ran a marathon (but SERIOUSLY when will I break that 4-hour mark?!)
  • Got a promotion
  • Cut back on marriage counseling (because we’re in a much better place)
  • Had a few dozen emotional breakdowns
  • Deleted Instagram
  • Started a podcast
  • Met a baby that made me consider having a baby
  • Almost finished Gilmore Girls and made a pretty good dent in The Office
  • Turned 30
  • Relearned how nice it can be to spend time in the real world, not online

I want to share so many stories on this space. I want to show you some of the things I’ve seen. I want to bring you into the emotions I’ve felt. Sharing the bad, tough moments alongside the good things is important to me; I’d want to show you the raw realities of life instead of some pretty lies.

But honestly? The thought of writing it all out overwhelms me because blogging can stress me out. So I haven’t blogged. It’s like, why stress myself out over something that’s supposed to be enjoyable?

On that same note, Instagram stressed me out. It stressed me out the way that Facebook used to stress me out. I’m over Facebook now but IG is a wholly different drug. It was an ideal platform to easily document my life while also keeping tabs on people I care about. (I jumped back on Instagram recently to promote my podcast and discovered three sorta-distant friends who got married, two people who had babies, one couple struggling with infertility, and like a billion trips that everyone took over the last eight months.) Oh, also, lots of great travel, food, and clothing inspiration. Not gonna lie about that.

The most important thing, though, was that I wanted to keep documenting my life. Practicing gratitude is something I’ve tried cultivating in my life and documentation helps me when memory and mindfulness fail. When times get hard, it helps me to see all the beautiful, good, wonderful things I have in my life by looking at pictures, watching videos, or interacting with friends via Instagram messaging.

Even so, Instagram was a major emotional and time suck for me. I felt addicted to it. Last September, I decided to quit it for a month and see what happened. Whatever happened must’ve been good because I didn’t log back on until May—over nine months later.

While in my off-IG phrase, a good friend told me about this app called “1 Second Everyday.” It captures 1-second clips each day and mashes them into a single video. (You can add two 1-second clips each day if you can’t decide on just one). My friend managed to do it every day (since January 2018!) when she told me about it in October 2018.

I downloaded (*bought) the app and started my own 1SE video literally as she was talking to me about it. Since then, I’ve used the app every day: nearly 9 months! WOW.

So, while I’d love to write about a lot of the things I’ve experienced in the last few months, I feel like this video covers the highs and lows. When I’m having a tough day, I watch this video and remind myself of everything I’ve experienced: both the highs and the lows. These one-second clips take me back to some of my hardest places and some of my happiest places all at once.

I feel the same fear, elation, anxiety, and love watching this video that I did at the moment when I captured it. It’s helped me see life as a continuous story: bad days, negative thoughts, and tough moments are not traps and they will pass. The joys are infinite and the sorrows are passing phases that teach important lessons.

Ok, enough already. Here’s the video.

(Don’t worry, I’ll probably write some stuff here eventually. But for now, I’m out living my life.)

One thought on “Umm…where have I been?

  1. You’ve got some great clips on that video. The ones where you are smiling are the best! And what I am most grateful for.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s